For some of us, finding out you are pregnant can be a hard pill to swallow, especially if you know you'll be doing it alone. I'm just here to give a beacon of hope and a friend to reach out to if needed. I found out I was pregnant and it wasn't one of those things I went running to the top of a mountain to announce, fact was I was alone. I think the most alone I ever felt in my entire life, ironically, was when I stared at that positive at home pregnancy test. I knew my life was about to change forever. I had no parents, they had passed, no family besides my brother who lived across the country, and no man that supported my decision to keep the child. I had everything and everyone rooting against me, but after long thought I decided to go through with having it. Best decision I could have ever made. I look back at all the advice and opinions of others and I'm truly happy I trusted my heart.
The hardest moments of pregnancy to go through alone were the ones that should have been the most joyous; check ups, sonograms, LABOR! All those moments you want the other half to be there experiencing it all excited with you, but it just wasn't the case for me. There's an indescribable pain associated with having a child that the father wants nothing to do with. You are left to explain to your child why their father didn't want to love them and that will be a brutally honest moment of truth when we get there. There are no judgements here. We all have our own plans in life and I really just believe if at the end of the day you can sleep comfortably with your decisions then all is well.
For a good portion of my life my friends have been my family so all of them stepped in and played the father role on several occasions for me. My friends went with me to doctors appointments, sonograms, and were right there by my side(drunk) during labor. We're not always given what we want but were always given what we need. I have strong memories of my pregnancy and labor and at the end of the day I had support and love of people who really believed that I could do it.
There are positives for us single mothers out there: we can do it all 100% our way...I named my kid Jetson Brooklyn, if I had to answer to someone else I'm almost positive that wouldn't be his name. I get to create my own life with my son and everyday is new and fun. I've also encountered lots of loving awesome single fathers out there which is great. My advice to anyone going through a rough pregnancy or raising a child on their own is : just roll with it. This is your life an your story, don't let society's views or anything else take away from the chapters in that story. The hard work and tear soaked pillow cases will all pay off in the long run. I walked to hail a cab to the hospital when my water broke, I knew it was going to be me and only me, so that's exactly who I listen to. Myself. You may feel and may be outcasted because your a single mother or young or struggling or whatever the case may be, but you know what's best so fuck the rest!
If anyone out there reading this has something they need to talk about or needs info on resources for single mothers, please email me at flyerthanmostcoast2coast@gmail.com
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